The Hidden Pressure Behind the Smile…

A new mother sits quietly on the couch, her hands clutched to her face, her partner/husband takes over bonding with their baby. Another image shows when things are ok, and she is able to connect and bond with her baby — a moment that reminds us to stop and breath, fill your own lungs first.. breath...

💭 “You’re such a strong mama.”

Those words are meant as comfort. They sound kind, even admiring.

But for many mothers, they become an invisible weight.

Because behind that compliment sits an unspoken rule:

“You’re strong, so you’ll cope.”

And so, when exhaustion creeps in, or tears fall without explanation, we smile instead. We say, “I’m fine.” We hold the baby, the laundry, the emotions — and forget to hold ourselves.

☁️ The Myth of Constant Positivity

Somewhere along the way, motherhood was sold as a story of gratitude only —

where every hard moment must be balanced with a blessing.

You’re tired? Be thankful.

You’re overwhelmed? At least you have a baby.

You’re crying? Others have it worse.

But that’s not healing. That’s suppression dressed as optimism.

Real positivity doesn’t deny pain; it sits beside it.

It says, “You can be grateful and grieving. You can be strong and still need help.”

🌱 Making Room for Truth

The next time someone asks how you’re doing, pause before answering.

Take a breath. Let the truth in, even if it’s messy.

If you’re not okay, say it softly — or whisper it to yourself if that’s all you can manage today.

Because every honest word you speak makes space for another mother to exhale too.

🎧 Prefer to listen instead?

Watch the full video: 👇🏾👇🏾

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🌿 A Final Thought

You don’t owe the world constant grace.

You owe yourself a place to rest.

Written with care by Naomie Karemi — Kraamzorg & Doula at Upendo Doula