Keep it home…
Photo of Naomie Pregnant with her third baby. Henna ceremony and decoration were organized by her birth doula and her postpartum doula. Art was done by Fathima
Managing expectations of other people during your life’s most meaningful and important phase should be the last thing on your mind.
The choices you make for your forthcoming birth will not make sense to many people and surprisingly not those very close to your heart. It may be that your own mother has trauma from her own experience that your choice to birth different to how she did, would influence your decision. It may be a sibling who was birthed at the same hospital and maybe with the same team and therefore she has a lot to say about her experience… Maybe a friend of a friend heard from another friend Xyz.. that whole saga is not something you want to invite into your space
It is important to know that everyone including our own mothers carries a trauma of some kind and because we love them so dearly their frown, long silence when we are sharing or their facial expressions could have an effect or impact on how we decide. In essence, you are sharing your hopes and dreams to achieve whatever kind of birth with the wrong crowd and inviting scrutiny in your decisions, judgement in why you even think its a good idea and allowing their fears to occupy your mind and take over how you decide further
Your choices and how you decide to give birth do not have to make sense to anyone else other than yourselves as a family unit. Do you want to achieve a birth out of the hospital system? Fine! You may want to birth in a bathing pool.. wonderful! Just bear in mind that often times when you share information like this to friends and family alike it will not be received with the high-tone excitement you are hoping to receive. Many times you’ll be lumbered with
‘what if something goes wrong?
‘Do you know how painful birth is?
‘I doubt you will push that baby out without pain relief…
‘Ha!! You wait till the day comes, you’ll remember I told you so’
Keeping the information to yourselves gives you the optimum power to execute what you have in plan with your support team and care provider in confidence. Keeping information like this deters the experts from offering unsolicited advice and many times interview with your plans and bonus is.. you won’t have to listen to everyone’s experience and own that fear as your own because everyone’s birth will not be yours!
How was your own experience? Did you receive support for your choices and if you did not.. what did you hear in that regard? I am curios :-)))
